New Hedge Fund

The financial sector has traditionally supplied a good portion of new MBA's with jobs, but with the current financial crisis those jobs are drying up. This affects me because all those finance people are now applying for jobs that I want. So let me suggest instead that they consider this new hedge fund: Strategery Capital Management.

From their website:

Strategery has several competitive advantages compared to other hedge funds.

1. We have approximately as much in capital as all other hedge funds combined, so we can negotiate best-in-the-business terms with counterparties.
2. We have an unlimited ability to raise more capital even in times of distress. Therefore the traditional limits to arbitrage (irrational return-chasing investors) does not apply.
3. We have a close relationship with the federal courts so counterparties seeking to terminate a transaction with us face not only civil litigation costs and losses, but potential criminal liabilities.
4. We are not limited to looking for opportunities with positive expected returns and so can cast a broader net across the investment universe, thus extending our efficient frontier beyond what other hedge funds can offer.

P.S. Yes, this is a joke.